Category Archives: Marriage

It takes a village

I haven’t see my kids since Friday. I won’t make you do math – that’s six days. I dropped them off at my in-laws and didn’t look back. I haven’t talked to them. I haven’t texted, face-timed, emailed or written a letter. I pick them up today and I imagine my son having grown another inch (it’s entirely possible, people) and my baby girl now writing in cursive (or something). Something will have changed in them that I have not been a part of. And that’s ok. We survived this week apart, we all did. In fact, we flourished. The kids built forts and jumped off high dives (just because I didn’t hear from them does not mean I didn’t get in-law updates!). I cleaned out closets, hung out with dear friends and got in three dates with my husband. I truly believe the kids need to learn to function without us (within reason) and just as importantly, we need to make sure we can function without them. Now, it’s not like we’re dropping them off in the wilderness with a flashlight and a can of tuna. They’re at my in-laws where they are lavished with love and spoiled rotten. And they need that, too. They need to know  there are many, many people for them. That Team Huff is bigger than just the four of us. And we’re so blessed because we have family nearby that can support us like this. My parents are just three towns over and the in-laws are just a couple hours away. Y’all, Chad and I started sneaking in weekends away when the kids were infants. As they’ve gotten older the number of days have been able to increase. And it’s such a gift. For all of us! I can talk about the kids needing their grandparents, but y’all, the grandparents soak. it. up. And we get to practice empty-nesting. Because college is just a few short years away. And I want to send out well-loved, confident, independent children into this world.

For those of you living far from family, I get this is a challenge. But I encourage you to engage your community around you, find good friends that can give you and your kids the chance to have independent experiences. Heck, work out a trade and return the favor! And all my single people, one of the greatest gifts you can give your married with kids friends is time. Offer to watch the kiddos for an evening or a weekend and don’t take no for an answer. I think someone once said that it takes a village.

Now excuse me while I stare at the clock, counting down the minutes until I see my beauties again. I think they still look like this.



Over the years Chad and I have served in various ways. Served. It’s such a strong and vague word. We’ve served one another. It’s why we say vows because you don’t always feel like it. We’ve taken care of each other when we’re sick, and cooked and cleaned and ran errands and moved and loved and just served each other. You know what it’s like. We’ve served our family and friends. We’ve babysat others’ kids and are listed emergency contacts. We’ve set up care calendars and taken chocolate – or beer – to friends after break ups and lay offs. We’ve sat in hospital rooms. We’ve cried and laughed and served others. We’ve served non-profits with our time, energy and efforts. We’re parents so that’s a lifetime of servitude. We’ve served our church. We each have gifts and abilities and we’ve been generous in sharing those and supporting one another in those endeavors. But you know what? We haven’t ever served our church together. We’ve served together. We’ve worked at events together. But it wasn’t until this year we committed to serving at our church together. We stand at the main doors to our auditorium and we pass out programs. We say hi. We smile. We answer questions when we can. It takes very little time and effort, but it’s important. We look over at one another, our eyes meet, and we know we’re in this together.


We’re loving it! And what’s crazy, is that we get so many comments from folks noticing our togetherness. Is it so rare? I hope not. But again, it’s taken us 13 years to figure it out. So here’s my encouragement to you. Find something you and the main person in your life can do in service together. That’s it. But if my word’s not good enough for you, check out this message series on the impact serving can have, not on those you’re serving, but on yourself.

You Are Here: Do Something by John Burke

You Are Here: Say Yes by Kenny Conley

You Are Here: Make A Difference by Kenny Conley