Category Archives: Identity

When you want to say yes

I said no to something this week I really wanted to say yes to. Worse than that, it’s something I initially thought I could do then had to bow out. I hate that. I hate disappointing people. Ever been there?

If I’m not careful, I can start to believe my identity rests in what others think of me. I’m a people pleaser. And that’s ok. I like being nice. It’s how I’m made. But I need to remember that this quality comes from God and that my identity comes from him, as well. So as much as I regret disappointing a friend, she’d even agree that not following a prompting from the father would be an even greater disappointment.

That prompting is to breathe. To rest and wait. To let him pick the opportunity. That’s my word this year. Opportunity. And I’m a doer. So I just started saying yes to everything. That was my response. But if I’m not saying yes to the right things then I’m still in disobedience.

My verse I’m meditating on this year is 2 Corinthians 13:11.

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I think it’s the maturity part he’s working on right now. And I’m trying to be joyful about it. It’s not always easy.

Anyone else need to do the hard thing? Take a deep breath and say no to something?

I encourage you. We’re in this together.

The wrong questions

What am I doing with my life?
Am I making a difference?
Do I have influence?
Should I have influence?
What is my purpose?

Am I doing enough?
Am I enough?

I have amazing friends. These friends are doing big things and helping change the world. They’re starting non-profits and sitting on boards and traveling to third world countries. I love them for it. I respect them, admire them and give God praise for their abilities. I support them and encourage them. But it’s too easy to also envy them. I want to make a difference. I want to do big things. God, what do you have for me? What’s your plan for my life? The list of questions goes on and on. But these are absolutely the wrong questions.

These questions that have been playing like a loop in my head for months. So destructive. So tedious. Such a waste of time. But God is good and gentle and patient. And spoke to me through my son. There’s nothing like getting schooled on the ways of Christ by a nine year old. He reminded me in a forceful voice that I’m enough and God’s got the rest.

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. (‭Philippians‬ ‭1‬:‭6‬ NLT)

My work is not done because God is still working in me. So lately I’ve starting asking a different set questions.

God, what are you doing in my life?
How may I help make a difference in your kingdom?
How may I have influence to glorify you?
Lord, what is your purpose for my life?
God, please give me the strength and wisdom to do what you’ve called me to do.

This is hard. To step outside of the “me attitude” is hard. It’s not how we are conditioned in our current society. The internet is a wonderful tool and can be used for great good, but it’s also the thing that can bring on great despair. I’m convinced there are more frustrated people now than ever before. We live our lives publicly and compare ourselves to others constantly. And this helps no one. I like how Seth Godin puts it so plainly when he says “your status compared to other people isn’t how you’re doing.” Amen. I am enough. You are enough.

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May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to him. All glory to him forever and ever! Amen. (‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭13:21‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

God is incredibly easy to please. Love him, love others. Do that well. Lean into him and you’ll start to find your place. I’m starting to recognize and value mine.

Where are you struggling right now? What questions are you wrestling with? Where do you wonder if you are enough? Find me over on Twitter and we’ll continue the conversation!

Identity

{Dear God, thank you so much for this kid. Thank you for who she is and who you created her to be. Lord, thank you for gifting us with this precious child. Help us have the wisdom to parent her well, to direct her toward the path you have prepared for her. Lord, I pray these strong characteristics you have instilled in her are used for good. I pray, Father, that she only look to you for validation. That she always know her identity is found in you alone.}

Some version of this is prayed over my children every night. They hear this cry every day of their little lives. If they remember nothing else from me – brush your teeth for two minutes twice a day, deodorant is not optional, the Spurs are the greatest basketball team, pizza is better than chicken soup when sick – they’ll know this. That their identity is in Christ.

That’s it. That’s the ballgame. If your kids walk away from you with that in their back pocket? Winning.

Of course we’re proud of our kids when they reign supreme in the spelling bee or when they make the game-winning shot or when you see them serving in their community. Or sit still for five minutes! Not pick their nose! And you should be. Be their biggest fan! Be your own biggest fan! Celebrate that promotion. Make that engagement Facebook official. Take the new car out for a spin. But do not believe those things make you who you are. They’re things. They’re events. You’re a person. Your child is a person. God created each of us in his image and with specific and marvelous characteristics. And this is so important to remember. Because jobs can go away and tests are forgotten and flunked and relationships fall apart. But you don’t have to fall apart with it. Your identity is bigger than those things! Your identity is in Christ. Nothing is bigger than that.

Y’all, there’s such freedom in this. I am so glad I’m not the sum of my actions. Aren’t you? I’m not the sum of my sins. I mess up. And God’s grace covers me because I am his. So say that prayer right now. For your kid. For yourself. Your identity is in Christ.
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